Showing posts with label election. Show all posts
Showing posts with label election. Show all posts
Monday, 24 April 2017
Notice of charges for receipt of political correspondence
As the general election is coming up, I am putting charges onto all political correspondence that I receive at my house. .
The charges for flyers, letters and pamphlets are:
Conservatives: £250 (£99 surcharge if correspondence is from Michelle Donelan)
Labour: £150
Lib Dem: £77.50p
UKIP: £5
Green Party: £750
Co-operative party: £10.56p
All other parties: £49.99p
If you visit my house, you will be charged the following:
Answering the door:
Conservatives: £99.99
All other parties: £49.99
Listening to what you say, charges per minute and part thereof:
Conservatives: £99.99
Green: £499.99
Labour: £24.99
All other parties £49.99
Telling you to fuck off:
Green: £249.99
Conservatives: £99 (If you are Michelle Donelan there is a £50 extra cost towards my pleasure of telling you to fuck off)
All other parties, free
There will also be a £49.99 surcharge for p&p of the invoice.
It will be assumed that by posting material through my door, or visiting my house, that you have read these terms and have agreed to them.
Invoices will be sent weekly, Payment in full will be required within 7 days.
Tuesday, 10 February 2015
Must be time to vote. . . . .
So voting must be upon us. I have been getting numerous emails from Cameron and his peers. All claiming that the other parties are suggesting something shit, donate £xxx to help us object to it.
Seriously guys? How stupid are you?
Labour wants me to donate £25 so they can say 'we want to do idea x'
Conservatives want me to donate £25 so they can tell Labour that 'idea x is shit'
The other party that no one can remember the name of (Conservatives Junior?), but have been up the conservatives arses for the past few years want me to donate £25 so they can stand behind the conservatives, looking over Cameron's shoulder, shaking his fist at Labour shouting 'Yeah, or else'
The green party want me to donate £25 so they can hide in the bogs, smoking weed and hugging each other.
And UKip want me to donate £25 so they can stand behind the speaker of the commons, with ripped shirts, bandannas, flicking the bird at everyone screaming 'FUCK YOU ALL!!!!'
And these are the choices we have?
And people wonder why I don't vote.
Seriously guys? How stupid are you?
Labour wants me to donate £25 so they can say 'we want to do idea x'
Conservatives want me to donate £25 so they can tell Labour that 'idea x is shit'
The other party that no one can remember the name of (Conservatives Junior?), but have been up the conservatives arses for the past few years want me to donate £25 so they can stand behind the conservatives, looking over Cameron's shoulder, shaking his fist at Labour shouting 'Yeah, or else'
The green party want me to donate £25 so they can hide in the bogs, smoking weed and hugging each other.
And UKip want me to donate £25 so they can stand behind the speaker of the commons, with ripped shirts, bandannas, flicking the bird at everyone screaming 'FUCK YOU ALL!!!!'
And these are the choices we have?
And people wonder why I don't vote.
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