If you are looking to buy the Ikea Tuffing bunk bed frame, then don't.
Seriously, don't.
It is the biggest nightmare of flat pack I have ever encountered.
Sure, it looks pretty. But by god it's a bitch to put together. All because of the webbing stuff. Everything threads through it, and wraps around it, stretching it is a pain in the arse. My wife speaks 2 languages fluently, and she managed to swear in 6 while assembling it.
When it comes to moving out, I will be chopping it up with an angle grinder. It is really not worth the hassle of disassembly. The guy that invented this bit of furniture, must hate people. He is the sort of person that strangles kittens, and steals the last piece of jigsaw puzzles. Probably likes tapioca as well.
Don't buy it. You will hate it.
Edit: 09/12/21
We did chop it up when we moved out.
Wednesday, 27 December 2017
Tuesday, 17 October 2017
Dear Heart Radio
Dear Heart Radio,
I have tried asking this question on various media outlets of yours, from facebook, twitter and texting Heart Wilts direct, but I am yet to have an answer, although Heart breakfast in Wilts did say they would look into it.
My question is over song censorship. I will use 2 songs as examples in particular.
Outkast Hey ya.
Pink Like a pill.
In the latter, the word bitch in the line 'Being a little bitch' is censored.
In Hey ya, the line 'Wanna make you come' is not censored.
Why?
The word 'Bitch' is a general name for a female dog.
The line 'Wanna make you come' is an aggressive sexual derogatory.
I would like to know the reasoning as to why Pink is censored, and Outkast is not. And to know the censoring guidelines in general. Because this, to me anyway, is confusing.
I would appreciate it if you could respond to this.
Regards,
I have tried asking this question on various media outlets of yours, from facebook, twitter and texting Heart Wilts direct, but I am yet to have an answer, although Heart breakfast in Wilts did say they would look into it.
My question is over song censorship. I will use 2 songs as examples in particular.
Outkast Hey ya.
Pink Like a pill.
In the latter, the word bitch in the line 'Being a little bitch' is censored.
In Hey ya, the line 'Wanna make you come' is not censored.
Why?
The word 'Bitch' is a general name for a female dog.
The line 'Wanna make you come' is an aggressive sexual derogatory.
I would like to know the reasoning as to why Pink is censored, and Outkast is not. And to know the censoring guidelines in general. Because this, to me anyway, is confusing.
I would appreciate it if you could respond to this.
Regards,
Tuesday, 10 October 2017
Dear Lucozade
Dear Lucozade,
Firstly I would like to say thank you. You have been an important product of my partners life. You see, she is type one diabetic. For over 30 years she has used Lucozade to help keep her sugars in check.
She has tried other fizzy and sugary drinks, but Lucozade is the one that has the best and quickest effect. We go through about 7 bottles a week. Sometimes it is less, other times it can be more. Especially when she is ill.
Over the 30 years this works out at around 10,000 bottles of Lucozade. And at £2 a bottle, it isn't cheap. But then I refuse to look at the price when I consider that it keeps my partner alive.
There is one small problem though.
She cannot stand the taste of it. The orange one is 'tolerable' but the original is vile to her. But she drinks it to keep her sugars in check, as we have not found anything better at this function.
So I ask you, please, is it possible to develop a cherries and berries flavour? Cherries and berries squash is my partners drink of choice. She has it with hot and cold water. If you could develop a cherries and berries Lucozade, that would make her day.
If you read this Lucozade, thank you for your time, and again, thank you for the part you play in keeping my partner alive.
Firstly I would like to say thank you. You have been an important product of my partners life. You see, she is type one diabetic. For over 30 years she has used Lucozade to help keep her sugars in check.
She has tried other fizzy and sugary drinks, but Lucozade is the one that has the best and quickest effect. We go through about 7 bottles a week. Sometimes it is less, other times it can be more. Especially when she is ill.
Over the 30 years this works out at around 10,000 bottles of Lucozade. And at £2 a bottle, it isn't cheap. But then I refuse to look at the price when I consider that it keeps my partner alive.
There is one small problem though.
She cannot stand the taste of it. The orange one is 'tolerable' but the original is vile to her. But she drinks it to keep her sugars in check, as we have not found anything better at this function.
So I ask you, please, is it possible to develop a cherries and berries flavour? Cherries and berries squash is my partners drink of choice. She has it with hot and cold water. If you could develop a cherries and berries Lucozade, that would make her day.
If you read this Lucozade, thank you for your time, and again, thank you for the part you play in keeping my partner alive.
Thursday, 14 September 2017
So far in Saltash. . . .
As some of you may know, I moved to Saltash in June. I thought I would share my experiences so far. . . .
Firstly, The area I live in is fantastic. The neighbour across the road, Mike, Introduced me to various other neighbours. I can now say hello to people in the morning as I shuffle around.
I am literally a 5 min walk from the shore. Don't expect a beach though, the path at the bottom of the road leads to an estuary cove. Mostly rocks, but fishable come high tide.
In the holiday season, it is a nightmare to get around. In winter, the drive to Looe is about 20 minutes. In the summer, its nearly an hour. Between July and August, the local main road has at least one accident a day due to the careless grockle's not knowing how to drive in Cornwall. Now autumn is here, I am looking forward to the roads being quiet again.
Looking for work has been troublesome. I applied to a local bus company who advertise every week. But as yet, I have heard nothing. I managed to re-apply last week though, so I am hopefuls that something will come of it.
I also had an interview in early August for a nice little job that would have seen me retire out on it. However, since the interview everyone has been on holiday and last I heard was it would be the 18th of September before I hear anything, if I hear anything.
In the meantime, I have been doing some weekend work at a biomass plant, operating the telehandler with a bucket to feed the station. Its 12 hours a day Saturday and Sunday, but it's not bad money for 2 days work. It isn't permanent, but once I find full time work, I will keep it going for pocket money.
I don't miss Chippenham. It was a shit hole. I miss some of the people I used to work with. Sheppy, Giddy, Mr T and Jim. But the stress of that place was getting me down so I had to move on. I tried explaining my issues with my superiors who dismissed them. I gave up.
I also miss Ben and Mel on Heart Wilts. Still haven't listed to the local one. But used to love tweeting the show in Wilts.
One downside is that the course fishing around here is quite restrictive. There is a fishery up the road called bake Lakes, but fisherys tend to be guaranteed catching. I miss the thrill of walking a canal to find the fish.
Loads of sea fishing though. However, I have only ever caught one fish in all my years sea fishing. I will be hitting the shores more often around here to get some fishing in. I need to do more research on it.
Anyway, bottom line? I love living in Cornwall.
Firstly, The area I live in is fantastic. The neighbour across the road, Mike, Introduced me to various other neighbours. I can now say hello to people in the morning as I shuffle around.
I am literally a 5 min walk from the shore. Don't expect a beach though, the path at the bottom of the road leads to an estuary cove. Mostly rocks, but fishable come high tide.
In the holiday season, it is a nightmare to get around. In winter, the drive to Looe is about 20 minutes. In the summer, its nearly an hour. Between July and August, the local main road has at least one accident a day due to the careless grockle's not knowing how to drive in Cornwall. Now autumn is here, I am looking forward to the roads being quiet again.
Looking for work has been troublesome. I applied to a local bus company who advertise every week. But as yet, I have heard nothing. I managed to re-apply last week though, so I am hopefuls that something will come of it.
I also had an interview in early August for a nice little job that would have seen me retire out on it. However, since the interview everyone has been on holiday and last I heard was it would be the 18th of September before I hear anything, if I hear anything.
In the meantime, I have been doing some weekend work at a biomass plant, operating the telehandler with a bucket to feed the station. Its 12 hours a day Saturday and Sunday, but it's not bad money for 2 days work. It isn't permanent, but once I find full time work, I will keep it going for pocket money.
I don't miss Chippenham. It was a shit hole. I miss some of the people I used to work with. Sheppy, Giddy, Mr T and Jim. But the stress of that place was getting me down so I had to move on. I tried explaining my issues with my superiors who dismissed them. I gave up.
I also miss Ben and Mel on Heart Wilts. Still haven't listed to the local one. But used to love tweeting the show in Wilts.
One downside is that the course fishing around here is quite restrictive. There is a fishery up the road called bake Lakes, but fisherys tend to be guaranteed catching. I miss the thrill of walking a canal to find the fish.
Loads of sea fishing though. However, I have only ever caught one fish in all my years sea fishing. I will be hitting the shores more often around here to get some fishing in. I need to do more research on it.
Anyway, bottom line? I love living in Cornwall.
Monday, 24 April 2017
Notice of charges for receipt of political correspondence
As the general election is coming up, I am putting charges onto all political correspondence that I receive at my house. .
The charges for flyers, letters and pamphlets are:
Conservatives: £250 (£99 surcharge if correspondence is from Michelle Donelan)
Labour: £150
Lib Dem: £77.50p
UKIP: £5
Green Party: £750
Co-operative party: £10.56p
All other parties: £49.99p
If you visit my house, you will be charged the following:
Answering the door:
Conservatives: £99.99
All other parties: £49.99
Listening to what you say, charges per minute and part thereof:
Conservatives: £99.99
Green: £499.99
Labour: £24.99
All other parties £49.99
Telling you to fuck off:
Green: £249.99
Conservatives: £99 (If you are Michelle Donelan there is a £50 extra cost towards my pleasure of telling you to fuck off)
All other parties, free
There will also be a £49.99 surcharge for p&p of the invoice.
It will be assumed that by posting material through my door, or visiting my house, that you have read these terms and have agreed to them.
Invoices will be sent weekly, Payment in full will be required within 7 days.
Wednesday, 5 April 2017
Facebook Fishkeeping Fanatical fucktards
I noticed out of all the facebook groups and forums I am on, the most vicious are the fishkeepers. I wondered if they realised how silly they sound. So I thought I would change a typical fish forum conversation into one about model trains. . . . . .
OP: “Hello, I was wondering if my 3 plank LMS truck would fit with my rake of 12 GWR 5 plank wagons?”
1: What gauge are you modelling?
1: What gauge are you modelling?
2: How big is the running length?
OP: Err, OO Gauge. And about 18 feet.
3: What is the radius if your inner curve?
4: What other rolling stock do you have?
OP: Radius 1 14 inches
1: Lima or Hornby?
2: Or peco?
OP: I have a class 58 with a rake of coal, I have the flying scotsman, I have a BR EMU
3: What is the radius if your inner curve?
4: What other rolling stock do you have?
OP: Radius 1 14 inches
1: Lima or Hornby?
2: Or peco?
OP: I have a class 58 with a rake of coal, I have the flying scotsman, I have a BR EMU
4: YOU IDIOT! YOU CAN’T MIX STEAM WITH DIESEL!!!!!
3: The Flying scotsman doesn’t work with a radius 1 curve. You need to have a minimum radius 3
2: What are your track parameters? I think you need to change your track before you do anything else.
OP: I’ve had steam with diesel for years, with no problems.
3: The Flying scotsman doesn’t work with a radius 1 curve. You need to have a minimum radius 3
2: What are your track parameters? I think you need to change your track before you do anything else.
OP: I’ve had steam with diesel for years, with no problems.
5: Steam and diesel will fight, and diesel will win. You need a separate layout for the steam.
4: A 40% track change is needed.
2: I change 30% of my track, every week.
4: A 40% track change is needed.
2: I change 30% of my track, every week.
4: I do a 50% track change every three days.
6: How high is the layout? Is it near a window?
1: LIMA OR HORNBY!
5: I change 90% of my track every day, and so does my wife!
4: I will take the steam of your hands
1: LIMA OR HORNBY!
5: I change 90% of my track every day, and so does my wife!
4: I will take the steam of your hands
OP: Errr. . . . .
7: Does the electric EMU stay in the engine shed a lot?
1: I change 30% of my track every sunday before church.
OP: No, I get it out when the diesel isn’t around.
7: Does the electric EMU stay in the engine shed a lot?
1: I change 30% of my track every sunday before church.
OP: No, I get it out when the diesel isn’t around.
3: oh dear. You should really re-house the EMU.
OP: But I like the EMU
3. Sorry, it just isn’t compatible with the diesel
4. Or steam.
2: Do you have anything else on the layout?
OP: Well, I have this class 8 shunter
4: SWEET MOTHER OF JESUS. You should be reported to Isambard Kingdom Brunel, you evil person you.
OP: It’s only a shunter. .
4: Only a shunter?!?!?! It should be in the sidings, preparing the rakes for the next engine, not out on the mainline? What are you doing man????
OP: I only came here for advice, I didn’t expect the spanish inquisition. . . .
8: Do a track change. 50% should do it.
OP: I only came here for advice, I didn’t expect the spanish inquisition. . . .
8: Do a track change. 50% should do it.
Sunday, 12 March 2017
Brexit
Yes, Brexit.
That dirty little B word that seems to be the route of sighs, and the bain of the rich everywhere.
There are people in parliment, and the house of lords, that really don't want Brexit because of the economy.
The economy.
Fuck the economy. That is not the reason I, or many others, voted Brexit.
I voted Brexit because I am pissed off to the back teeth of walking around town, and hundreds of people not speaking English.
I am pissed off with how easy the government hands out houses to immigrants, yet it is impossible for anyone to get a mortgage noways.
I am pissed off with people claiming asylum here, getting upwards of £30k in benefits for families that aren't in this country.
I voted Brexit to close our borders.
Fuck the economy.
Infact, if we get rid of all immigrants both legal and illegal that arrived here in the past 5 years, the government would have a surplus of cash because they aren't paying out as much to the fucking immigrants.
I am actually scared of the country's future.
All of these immigrants are allowed to vote. If we don't vote UKip in the next election, then immigrants will outnumber natives by the following one, and we wont have a fucking chance of reclaiming Britain for the British.
Please, just get Brexit underway, so we can be British again.
Close the fucking borders.
That dirty little B word that seems to be the route of sighs, and the bain of the rich everywhere.
There are people in parliment, and the house of lords, that really don't want Brexit because of the economy.
The economy.
Fuck the economy. That is not the reason I, or many others, voted Brexit.
I voted Brexit because I am pissed off to the back teeth of walking around town, and hundreds of people not speaking English.
I am pissed off with how easy the government hands out houses to immigrants, yet it is impossible for anyone to get a mortgage noways.
I am pissed off with people claiming asylum here, getting upwards of £30k in benefits for families that aren't in this country.
I voted Brexit to close our borders.
Fuck the economy.
Infact, if we get rid of all immigrants both legal and illegal that arrived here in the past 5 years, the government would have a surplus of cash because they aren't paying out as much to the fucking immigrants.
I am actually scared of the country's future.
All of these immigrants are allowed to vote. If we don't vote UKip in the next election, then immigrants will outnumber natives by the following one, and we wont have a fucking chance of reclaiming Britain for the British.
Please, just get Brexit underway, so we can be British again.
Close the fucking borders.
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