Saturday, 2 November 2019
A reminder of my fees for political correspondence.
As the general election is coming up, I am putting charges onto all political correspondence that I receive at my house. .
The charges for flyers, letters and pamphlets are:
Conservatives: £50
Labour: £250
Lib Dem: £77.50p
Brexit: £5
All other parties: £49.99p
If you visit my house, you will be charged the following:
Answering the door:
Labour or Libdems: £99.99
All other parties: £9.99
Listening to what you say, charges per minute and part thereof:
Conservatives: £9.99
Labour: £249.99
All other parties £49.99
Telling you to fuck off:
Labour: £249.99
LibDems: £99
All other parties, free
There will also be a £49.99 surcharge for p&p of the invoice.
It will be assumed that by posting material through my door, or visiting my house, that you have read these terms and have agreed to them.
Invoices will be sent weekly, Payment in full will be required within 7 days.
Monday, 1 January 2018
Recycling.
Checking out at the grocery store recently, the young cashier suggested I should bring my own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment. I apologized and explained, "We didn't have this green thing back in my earlier days." The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations." She was right about one thing -- our generation didn't have the green thing in “Our” day. So what did we have back then…? After some reflection and soul-searching on "Our" day here's what I remembered we did have.... Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles repeatedly. So they really were recycled. But we didn't have the green thing back in our day. We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks. But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day. Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that young lady is right. We didn't have the green thing back in our day. Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity. But she's right. We didn't have the green thing back then. We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But we didn't have the green thing back then. Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus, and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerised gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint. But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?
-found somewhere from the internet.
-found somewhere from the internet.
Wednesday, 27 December 2017
Ikea Tuffing Bunk bed frame review
If you are looking to buy the Ikea Tuffing bunk bed frame, then don't.
Seriously, don't.
It is the biggest nightmare of flat pack I have ever encountered.
Sure, it looks pretty. But by god it's a bitch to put together. All because of the webbing stuff. Everything threads through it, and wraps around it, stretching it is a pain in the arse. My wife speaks 2 languages fluently, and she managed to swear in 6 while assembling it.
When it comes to moving out, I will be chopping it up with an angle grinder. It is really not worth the hassle of disassembly. The guy that invented this bit of furniture, must hate people. He is the sort of person that strangles kittens, and steals the last piece of jigsaw puzzles. Probably likes tapioca as well.
Don't buy it. You will hate it.
Edit: 09/12/21
We did chop it up when we moved out.
Seriously, don't.
It is the biggest nightmare of flat pack I have ever encountered.
Sure, it looks pretty. But by god it's a bitch to put together. All because of the webbing stuff. Everything threads through it, and wraps around it, stretching it is a pain in the arse. My wife speaks 2 languages fluently, and she managed to swear in 6 while assembling it.
When it comes to moving out, I will be chopping it up with an angle grinder. It is really not worth the hassle of disassembly. The guy that invented this bit of furniture, must hate people. He is the sort of person that strangles kittens, and steals the last piece of jigsaw puzzles. Probably likes tapioca as well.
Don't buy it. You will hate it.
Edit: 09/12/21
We did chop it up when we moved out.
Tuesday, 17 October 2017
Dear Heart Radio
Dear Heart Radio,
I have tried asking this question on various media outlets of yours, from facebook, twitter and texting Heart Wilts direct, but I am yet to have an answer, although Heart breakfast in Wilts did say they would look into it.
My question is over song censorship. I will use 2 songs as examples in particular.
Outkast Hey ya.
Pink Like a pill.
In the latter, the word bitch in the line 'Being a little bitch' is censored.
In Hey ya, the line 'Wanna make you come' is not censored.
Why?
The word 'Bitch' is a general name for a female dog.
The line 'Wanna make you come' is an aggressive sexual derogatory.
I would like to know the reasoning as to why Pink is censored, and Outkast is not. And to know the censoring guidelines in general. Because this, to me anyway, is confusing.
I would appreciate it if you could respond to this.
Regards,
I have tried asking this question on various media outlets of yours, from facebook, twitter and texting Heart Wilts direct, but I am yet to have an answer, although Heart breakfast in Wilts did say they would look into it.
My question is over song censorship. I will use 2 songs as examples in particular.
Outkast Hey ya.
Pink Like a pill.
In the latter, the word bitch in the line 'Being a little bitch' is censored.
In Hey ya, the line 'Wanna make you come' is not censored.
Why?
The word 'Bitch' is a general name for a female dog.
The line 'Wanna make you come' is an aggressive sexual derogatory.
I would like to know the reasoning as to why Pink is censored, and Outkast is not. And to know the censoring guidelines in general. Because this, to me anyway, is confusing.
I would appreciate it if you could respond to this.
Regards,
Tuesday, 10 October 2017
Dear Lucozade
Dear Lucozade,
Firstly I would like to say thank you. You have been an important product of my partners life. You see, she is type one diabetic. For over 30 years she has used Lucozade to help keep her sugars in check.
She has tried other fizzy and sugary drinks, but Lucozade is the one that has the best and quickest effect. We go through about 7 bottles a week. Sometimes it is less, other times it can be more. Especially when she is ill.
Over the 30 years this works out at around 10,000 bottles of Lucozade. And at £2 a bottle, it isn't cheap. But then I refuse to look at the price when I consider that it keeps my partner alive.
There is one small problem though.
She cannot stand the taste of it. The orange one is 'tolerable' but the original is vile to her. But she drinks it to keep her sugars in check, as we have not found anything better at this function.
So I ask you, please, is it possible to develop a cherries and berries flavour? Cherries and berries squash is my partners drink of choice. She has it with hot and cold water. If you could develop a cherries and berries Lucozade, that would make her day.
If you read this Lucozade, thank you for your time, and again, thank you for the part you play in keeping my partner alive.
Firstly I would like to say thank you. You have been an important product of my partners life. You see, she is type one diabetic. For over 30 years she has used Lucozade to help keep her sugars in check.
She has tried other fizzy and sugary drinks, but Lucozade is the one that has the best and quickest effect. We go through about 7 bottles a week. Sometimes it is less, other times it can be more. Especially when she is ill.
Over the 30 years this works out at around 10,000 bottles of Lucozade. And at £2 a bottle, it isn't cheap. But then I refuse to look at the price when I consider that it keeps my partner alive.
There is one small problem though.
She cannot stand the taste of it. The orange one is 'tolerable' but the original is vile to her. But she drinks it to keep her sugars in check, as we have not found anything better at this function.
So I ask you, please, is it possible to develop a cherries and berries flavour? Cherries and berries squash is my partners drink of choice. She has it with hot and cold water. If you could develop a cherries and berries Lucozade, that would make her day.
If you read this Lucozade, thank you for your time, and again, thank you for the part you play in keeping my partner alive.
Thursday, 14 September 2017
So far in Saltash. . . .
As some of you may know, I moved to Saltash in June. I thought I would share my experiences so far. . . .
Firstly, The area I live in is fantastic. The neighbour across the road, Mike, Introduced me to various other neighbours. I can now say hello to people in the morning as I shuffle around.
I am literally a 5 min walk from the shore. Don't expect a beach though, the path at the bottom of the road leads to an estuary cove. Mostly rocks, but fishable come high tide.
In the holiday season, it is a nightmare to get around. In winter, the drive to Looe is about 20 minutes. In the summer, its nearly an hour. Between July and August, the local main road has at least one accident a day due to the careless grockle's not knowing how to drive in Cornwall. Now autumn is here, I am looking forward to the roads being quiet again.
Looking for work has been troublesome. I applied to a local bus company who advertise every week. But as yet, I have heard nothing. I managed to re-apply last week though, so I am hopefuls that something will come of it.
I also had an interview in early August for a nice little job that would have seen me retire out on it. However, since the interview everyone has been on holiday and last I heard was it would be the 18th of September before I hear anything, if I hear anything.
In the meantime, I have been doing some weekend work at a biomass plant, operating the telehandler with a bucket to feed the station. Its 12 hours a day Saturday and Sunday, but it's not bad money for 2 days work. It isn't permanent, but once I find full time work, I will keep it going for pocket money.
I don't miss Chippenham. It was a shit hole. I miss some of the people I used to work with. Sheppy, Giddy, Mr T and Jim. But the stress of that place was getting me down so I had to move on. I tried explaining my issues with my superiors who dismissed them. I gave up.
I also miss Ben and Mel on Heart Wilts. Still haven't listed to the local one. But used to love tweeting the show in Wilts.
One downside is that the course fishing around here is quite restrictive. There is a fishery up the road called bake Lakes, but fisherys tend to be guaranteed catching. I miss the thrill of walking a canal to find the fish.
Loads of sea fishing though. However, I have only ever caught one fish in all my years sea fishing. I will be hitting the shores more often around here to get some fishing in. I need to do more research on it.
Anyway, bottom line? I love living in Cornwall.
Firstly, The area I live in is fantastic. The neighbour across the road, Mike, Introduced me to various other neighbours. I can now say hello to people in the morning as I shuffle around.
I am literally a 5 min walk from the shore. Don't expect a beach though, the path at the bottom of the road leads to an estuary cove. Mostly rocks, but fishable come high tide.
In the holiday season, it is a nightmare to get around. In winter, the drive to Looe is about 20 minutes. In the summer, its nearly an hour. Between July and August, the local main road has at least one accident a day due to the careless grockle's not knowing how to drive in Cornwall. Now autumn is here, I am looking forward to the roads being quiet again.
Looking for work has been troublesome. I applied to a local bus company who advertise every week. But as yet, I have heard nothing. I managed to re-apply last week though, so I am hopefuls that something will come of it.
I also had an interview in early August for a nice little job that would have seen me retire out on it. However, since the interview everyone has been on holiday and last I heard was it would be the 18th of September before I hear anything, if I hear anything.
In the meantime, I have been doing some weekend work at a biomass plant, operating the telehandler with a bucket to feed the station. Its 12 hours a day Saturday and Sunday, but it's not bad money for 2 days work. It isn't permanent, but once I find full time work, I will keep it going for pocket money.
I don't miss Chippenham. It was a shit hole. I miss some of the people I used to work with. Sheppy, Giddy, Mr T and Jim. But the stress of that place was getting me down so I had to move on. I tried explaining my issues with my superiors who dismissed them. I gave up.
I also miss Ben and Mel on Heart Wilts. Still haven't listed to the local one. But used to love tweeting the show in Wilts.
One downside is that the course fishing around here is quite restrictive. There is a fishery up the road called bake Lakes, but fisherys tend to be guaranteed catching. I miss the thrill of walking a canal to find the fish.
Loads of sea fishing though. However, I have only ever caught one fish in all my years sea fishing. I will be hitting the shores more often around here to get some fishing in. I need to do more research on it.
Anyway, bottom line? I love living in Cornwall.
Monday, 24 April 2017
Notice of charges for receipt of political correspondence
As the general election is coming up, I am putting charges onto all political correspondence that I receive at my house. .
The charges for flyers, letters and pamphlets are:
Conservatives: £250 (£99 surcharge if correspondence is from Michelle Donelan)
Labour: £150
Lib Dem: £77.50p
UKIP: £5
Green Party: £750
Co-operative party: £10.56p
All other parties: £49.99p
If you visit my house, you will be charged the following:
Answering the door:
Conservatives: £99.99
All other parties: £49.99
Listening to what you say, charges per minute and part thereof:
Conservatives: £99.99
Green: £499.99
Labour: £24.99
All other parties £49.99
Telling you to fuck off:
Green: £249.99
Conservatives: £99 (If you are Michelle Donelan there is a £50 extra cost towards my pleasure of telling you to fuck off)
All other parties, free
There will also be a £49.99 surcharge for p&p of the invoice.
It will be assumed that by posting material through my door, or visiting my house, that you have read these terms and have agreed to them.
Invoices will be sent weekly, Payment in full will be required within 7 days.
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